Tuesday, September 14, 2010

I Need An Angle!

Most writers need to have an angle!  A specific point-of-view on their area of interest.  Hemingway looked at the man-against-himself angle.  Vonnegut looked at man-lost-in-the-goofiness-of-life angle.

I DON'T HAVE AN ANGLE!

Adam is funny, Chris is knowledgeable and patient, the Green Girl is GREEN, Neil runs in bare feet, Marlene is massacring the halfs and marathons EVERY weekend, EMZ races horses in death valley during the afternoon breaks between marathons, Skierz does TRIs, Claudia eats ravioli in restaurants, Anne has friggen ASTHMA!, Q is handsome and faster than greased lightning, Caratunk Girl swims in Pleasant Pond, other people run for causes, interview great runners, and have contests every week.  And on top of that all the girls I follow are hot.  I'm trying to find just one skanky biotch, that disses others, doesn't care for her kids, or looks like a derailed-pork-pieces train coming back from a Chicago rending house - but it's impossible!  You girls are all HOT!

All the blogs I read, are either informative, funny, in some new area of running, or at the extremes of sport.  There are also many great fat to fit blogs out there like, Clydesdale Project, Running Fat Guy, and Super Fatlete. So I want to explore (in at least a few posts) some ideas with all my readers.

Here are some angles I've thought of (and you are welcome to suggest more):

Nude Running: literally running balls out even on the EZ recovery runs!  Some problems here (legal of course) but there are IT band issues later in life when your testicles begin to bounce around your knees and wrap around them during fartleking.  Also there's no place to pin the bib number.

Running With Bulls: I've checked eBay, and there are farmers in Alberta and in Quebec that will ship me up to four bulls in the prime of their insemination careers and I can take them out for a run during my training.  Think of the jokes I could make up.  Please do think ... because I'm drawing a blank.

Backwards Running: This could be revolutionary, imagine having to do stretches in the other direction!  Talking about a consistent toe-plant - and trying to get your stride longer than a foot!  A blog like this would definitely move throughout the running blogosphere and attract readers.  And the offshoot blog Running Sideways!

Bare-Hands Running: I would be the envy of every athlete with shin splints, hair-line heel fractures, IT Band issues, etc.  I could even see Nike and Brooks getting on side and starting a shod-hands running glove.

or a whole series of different ways of training

Running With Weights: screeching down the street carrying a 175lbs-dumbell (named Larry) - improves your cardio.

Running in Guantanamo Jump Suits: this could take on a bit of a protest movement spin - improves your heat tolerance.

Running after Drinking: 15 minute pre-run preparation - 4 Keith's IPAs and 2 shots of Captain Morgan - improves your dizziness and washroom-break management.

Running While Holding Your Breath: a few minutes of training to get your body to use the oxygen it has very very efficiently.  Would quickly become an EXTREME sport.  Race times would be measured to the hundredth of a second.

Running With Eyes Closed: this could really improve the "feel" of running ... and then you would not feel so good after being hit by a car - but that's what would make the blog interesting!

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P.S. did my weights and HCC today ... and I'm moving to a new office this week, so I have a little less time to visit all the blogs that I would like, but I plan to catch up on Friday.

32 comments:

Zaneta said...

lol... loved your ideas!! :D I too am angleless lol... Just plain and ordinary over here ;) Unlike you though, i have no idea how to make my blog stick out from the rest lol

Evolving Through Running said...

It would seem the perfect angle, with a guarantee of entertaining and exciting posts every time you hit the keyboard, would be 'Running from the Police'. The possibilities are limitless.

I disavow any knowledge of this comment.

Kovas Palubinskas said...

Running through Walmart video log. Visit every Walmart worldwide. Imagine the sponsorship tie-ins!

Kovas Palubinskas said...

Bonus Suggestion: Endurance Girls Gone Wild!

Big Clyde said...

Okay, did you just call me fat?

Rae said...

Your posts are always so funny!

Rae said...

Oh and I love that pic of the green girl!

Big Clyde said...

I like some of the ideas above:
"Running From the Police" - what if you just tried to find a cop every day, then looked nervous and tried to get them to chase you?

Kovas's idea of Endurance Girls Gone Wild is pure genius. Yes, please.

Finally, I would suggest you seriously consider committing to something just stupidly challenging. Commit to running a full 10K, or a half-marathon in March of next year. Then blog about it constantly. Can a regular guy train up for a huge event? It's not a new idea, but always interesting.

Julie said...

I just got off of Adam's blog and was laughing my butt off! That interview was the best:)

You don't need an angle...just be yourself:)

ShutUpandRun said...

I vote for running after eating high fat foods found at county fairs: deep fried twinkies, deep fried snickers, deep fried butter. You could just see what happens. I don't know if that angle has ever been done.

How come you didn't mention me and the poop angle?

Since I'm not hot I could be just the skanky biotch you're looking for.

heather said...

That image of testicles wrapped around knees will be haunting me for days!

Drunk running is always funny!

I like ETR and Big Clyde colaboration-getting the police to chase you...hilarius.

EGGW? Of coarse Kovas would come up with that.

SUAR has the dump angle cornered, but I love the county fair angle.

K said...

I think you should combine a few of those how about "running drunk and naked with the bulls" Now that's entertainment!

Forward Foot Strides said...

Running in pogo shoes! They exist. Don't ask me how I know that, but they exist.

Quinton J said...

I was right...you WERE hitting on me!

The Green Girl said...

As long as you don't start joggling, I think everything will work out just fine.

Jill said...

I think you should try them all on for size...except the eyes close, unless you want to be "running with a sprained ankle"???

WannabeRunner said...

I'm going to have to disagree with Green Girl here. Joggling is awesome!

Plus, I think you already have an angle. You're hilarious and insanely informative! That website table you had was awesome!

Lisa said...

bwahahahahahah. I suggest a twist to what was suggested by a previous commenter..."running from myself"

Adrienne said...

You mean blogs are suppose to have an angle? Crap.

T S said...

I like Jill's idea - do them all! You could have a new angle every week : ) Have you seen the Jogglers? (Juggling while running - the world record for the marathon is 2:50. Seriously. A 2:50 while juggling.)

Honestly - don't change a thing. Love the blog just the way it is.

Kovas Palubinskas said...

Based on Heather's comment, I must have the dirty old man angle. To punish her, I'm going to follow her blog. Hahaha...

Emz said...

I thought you were calling me an angEL?! NO?!

Did you just say my right thigh looks fat on a horse!?

Barefoot Neil Z said...

Here is your angle. Thank me later.

How much weight can you GAIN while training for a half marathon.

You are welcome. Now go eat.

Rad Runner said...

I'm with the Balls out approach, and then in the winter you can switch to running backwards while after drinking? :)

Luke said...

Thanks for the mention. Would you settle for a blog of a girl who kicks puppies, maybe we can find that for you.

A few of those made me laugh. I have heard of a marthon in France that gives wine at every aid station (running after drinking), I got made fun of friday for running with gloves on (I did it to protect my hands while doing pushups, but everyone asked me if they were supposed to make me faster), I think that instead of running with weights you should buy the parachute Nike makes and that could be your angle.

Java Joggers said...

Too funny! I definitely vote for running while holding your breath. You could take videos of people doing it, and post it on YouTube, too... nude running is my second favorite. Another YouTube sensation, for sure. And guaranteed to get your blog even more readers!

runningwithababyonboard said...

I'd love to see Naked Running take off. Talk about incentive to really look good!

I think your angle is that your hilarious! Maybe you could Run While Doing Stand-Up? All of us could use a few laughs to keep us going during these races. :)

Chris K said...

The Canadian who likes the NFL?

Actually, I'm with Julie and the girl above me with the longest blog name I've ever seen in my life, you got game, Andrew. You're pretty damn funny yourself, and when you're not, you are honest and humble. So, as Billy Joel once said, "Don't go changing".

wendy_kresha@charter.net said...

Lol! I think your blog is fine the way it is : ) Cold weather running, ugghhhh....! It is here isn't it? It feels like we went from summer to winter in one week. I have one word for you: layers. I sometimes wear 3 or 4. Then you just roll down the road and hope no one you know sees you! Take care!

zbsports said...

Great, I was entertained by the post. I learn more things on it. Thanks!!!

Matty O said...

Yeah so I thought one of the categories that was called, "running with weights" read: "running with midgets" I was going to say you are on to something there but I caught my error and was disappointed haha.

What the heck is my angle? You have me thinking now... I guess I am the idiot that doesn't listen to anyone and does whatever the heck I want to despite years and years of proven track record on following their training plans???

Adam said...

I agree w/ Chris. You're just right the way you are! *sheds tear* Don't you go changing on me now!!!!!

(actually, I didn't lock down a format to my blog for almost a year - no worries)