wan·na·be also wan·na·bee (wn-b, wôn-) Informal
- One who aspires to a role or position.
- One who imitates the behavior, customs, or dress of an admired person or group.
- A product designed to imitate the qualities or characteristics of something.
- Wishing or aspiring to be; would-be.
I am a wannabe, someone who aspires to be a runner. I imitate the training, eating, dress and customs of my admired group of people: runners (like Jill, Chris, Adam, Beth, EMZ, Johann, Kovas, Q, Neil - but with shoes on). I am designing myself to imitate the qualities and characteristics of great runners. I think "wannabe" is a perfect description of me and the way I have been operating.
I enter larger chip-timed races because those races draw the better runners. I almost always end the race in the back of the pack. Never for one moment do I believe I am of their caliber. No. But I want to be of their caliber. I want to see them start (but I don't see them finish).
I follow some awesome blogs, and I see the times posted for a mile pace for training (6:22, 7:20, 7:45). I just ran a full mile at the track after a warm-up in 10:19. I thank you for your stating that I am a runner. But I am personally challenged to be a better runner - a faster runner - a longer runner.
I have currently chosen to run an 8-miler in Waterloo on February 20th. If the Macmillan Running Calculator is correct, and based on last years results, I will end up either the last male or the last person to finish the race at my current running speeds. That seems super foolish doesn't it? Why would a grown man do such silly things? Well, it's because I'm a wannabe.
But please, I don't think being a wannabe at this stage in my abilities is an insult. I am not discouraged. I am not negative. I have not missed one training run since I started running. I have skipped indulging in food that take me off my diet. I barely know what alcohol is. I am being coached (my closest know what that means). I do these insane drills (not because some coach will be angry if I miss them, but because I will have wasted an opportunity to convert my desire into achievement.)
I am a wannabe!
I want to run around the track and have flames sparking from under my feet. I want to come from behind and rip past the struggling herd of finishers to take the win. I want to reach deep down in my soul, and surprise myself by breaking through tremendous pain to pull incredible drive out of my legs, arms, chest, lungs and beating heart! I want every emotion (fear, hate, love, forgiveness) to fight in me because I know that for a few moments I am alive fighting with myself.
When I went out running for the Virtual 5k on Saturday, I slipped (even with my spikes) about 4 times before I passed 10 homes on my street. I had to make a decision on whether this was going to be a killer run, matching my most recent 5k, or a disaster. I decided to laugh at my situation. It rains (and snows) on the good and the bad. No sense in taking it personally - there will be other days. The only promise I made with myself was that I will be trained for the day that has my name on it.
Even though the weekend's post is kinda funny. I was really pissed off that I couldn't run later when I knew the sun would be out and the roads would be plowed - but I had family plans that came first.
But I warn you Andrew Opala, there is enough time during each week, that I am going to get so trained up I am going to unleash a can of whoop-ass and kick the PRs of your whole family! No need to wave when I pass you, cuz you'll be just yesterday's news - blowin in the wind.
It's like Dooding and Chicking but when you pass yourself in the last 100 m of the race it's called SELFING! :) And it's what I'm after!